Freely Be

You may not want to read this post. It may consist of word vomit that I just needed to get out. You may want to come back tomorrow when the mood is lighter. Consider yourself warned…

A couple of weeks ago on Gracie’s blog, I noticed she’s part of a new organization called Freely Be.

A couple of days ago, Gracie posted a Freely Be campaign called Kick the Habit. It begins today, August 1st, and continues throughout the rest of the month. The goal of Kick the Habit is simple: kick a bad habit to the curb. kickthehabitbutton1

It wasn’t hard to decide what I needed to rid my life of, but it took a couple of days to gain the courage to spill the beans and write this post.

So here goes nothing.

I’m not sure if I’m just having a bad month, but lately I am not happy with what I do. Going to work(which is school) every morning has become more than a chore, and I am beyond excited at the thought of graduating and moving on sooner rather than later. Going to school stresses me out.

I don’t think of myself as an easily stressed person. I like my exercise, ice cream, and jokes, which in the past have easily helped me combat any stress or sadness that has befallen me. Until now apparently.

While I am very excited to graduate, I have no idea what is next for me. Like absolutely no idea. at all. I’m a lost little girl. That stresses me out.

Sometimes I feel lost and foolish that I have no idea what I want for my career. And I let my thoughts get the best of me; I focus too much on worrying and stressing out about the future.

But that’s not all…

When I feel the stress from school and fear of the unknown future…I let that snowball. And I blow everything out of proportion. I stress that I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I panic that I’m not going to be successful. I worry about money. I think about all the material possessions I don’t have.

And then I think who the hell is this girl? and damn she’s annoying.That’s not who I am at all. But I can’t seem to get rid of this beeyotch.

If it takes me a few more years to figure out what I want to do, then so be it. Success is measured by happiness, not by career, money, or anything else. What will be will be, and in the meantime, I just need to focus on being the best version of myself.

I suppose my Kick the Habit has multiple components. Ultimately I just want to get back to being myself: dial down the worry, live in the present, be positive, and take things one day at a time.

I don’t know where I heard this, but it’s true: Worrying is like a rocking chair. Sure, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. And it’s about time I turn my focus into going somewhere.

Maybe I’m too worried and stressed, that I’m forgetting what I do have. I need to be more grateful for what I have, because I’m a very lucky girl.  A wise man once told me that he wished we had nothing, because then at least we’d have eachother, and that’s all we really need and we would be happy. That wise guy happens to be my boyfriend. I don’t know when I started forgetting all the great things in my life, but it’s high time I get my thoughts in order.

I’m honestly not sure if anything I’ve written makes sense for the reader (or if anyone was brave enough to have gotten this far), but I think this Freely Be campaign came at the perfect time.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
-Marcus Aurelius

So here goes nothing…

(this is me being happy and excited for Freely Be)099

22 responses

  1. I hear ya, girl! I need to kick the habit of worrying about the future so much! It affects me daily just stressing about what I’m going to do when school is done. I have a feeling that when the time is right, we’ll know exactly what to do 🙂 but until then, we need to stop freaking out about it! If only it were that easy, lol.

  2. Meg – ah! Big virtual hug coming your way. Great great great post. I loved the rocking chair quote – whoa, it’s so true.

    I have a feeling that everything is going to turn out perfectly for you – regardless which path you choose. Hang in there…and I’m excited for you to graduate! <–a very big accomplishment, btw.

  3. I totally understood all of that! And, I have felt that way before. Trust me, you will figure things out…and so what if it takes a little longer than you’d like! I’m in grad school right now and you wouldn’t believe how many people in my class are there for second careers or there about 5 years after graduating from college. Things take time, but it’s worth it!

  4. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog! Girl, you’re absolutley adorable and I couldn’t agree more with this post. Gotta take things one day at a time and tell stress to beat it 🙂
    Looking forward to reading more!

  5. Worrying is BAD. NEWS. This is an excellent habit to kick, and I think you’re extremely positive and happy under your little worry niggles, so it shouldn’t be too hard on you.

    I have fallen into the worrying trap before, and you’re right…it does start to snowball. Once you start worrying about things, it’s hard to stop. My boyfriend’s mom told me not too long ago not to worry about things that I can’t change, and that has really stuck with me. What is the point of worrying about it?

    I think you know deep down that things just WILL work out for you, because you are YOU and will not let them not work out…if that makes sense. That is what I tell myself 😉

  6. Hey there! I totally feel you- I recently graduated college, and, while I recently got a job (that I’m starting in a month) I still don’t really know where my career/life will go in 5 years! I also will have to move 3 hours away, from my boyfriend, family, and friends, and I’m already stressing out about it! I’m glad I created my blog because it is a daily reminder to not take life so seriously (it’s only life after all). I think about things in “not-so-permanent” terms. If I’m unhappy with my body, it’s not permanent. If i’m unhappy with this upcoming job, it’s not permanent! Few things in life are.

  7. I’m normally really happy-go-lucky but every once in awhile I let worry take control of me and then I’m totally not happy! It’s not good 😦 But things always work out, so I have to remember that when anxiety strikes! I’m SURE you’ll be just fine after you graduate 🙂

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  11. Mwahhh I love this. I have the same problem. That’s how I’m feeling today — who is this annoying beeyotch that has taken me over and sucked out my happiness and butterflies? I want to trust and know that things will be the way they are supposed to — I just hate the middleman.

  12. Um did I write this?! I totally feel you! I’m so over school, unpaid internships, and no income. But I’m SO stressed about finding a job, worried if it’s gonna be the right job, what state the jobs gonna be in, growing up comes with so much responsibility. I feel irresponsible not worrying about it but I definitely let it take over way too much of my thoughts and mood on a daily basis.

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